Last night i started searching for quick and painless ways to die. But apparently that's not really possible. So instead I looked into the most dignified ways to be found dead. Overdose is to the leading contender. And over-the-counter drugs are most easily available.
Paracetamol overdose needs 30 pills within 24 hours.
The when needs to be determined. I don't want to leave my family a mess. I need to do it some other place than home since I don't want them to be the one to find my body.
Effective suicide needs careful planning. And that's what I have to do.
My death of choice isn't painless. I will go through liver failure first and it sounds to be painful. And because of that, I plan to drink alcohol to maybe get me sleepy as well. Perhaps I'll die in my sleep but I think the pain would still wake me up. I need to research on sleeping pills so that I could take it as well.
Melatonin they say helps you fall asleep. Hope its not expensive.
Another thing I have to consider is that this suicide is going to be expensive. But I don't have a job to pay for this so that leaves me with my credit card. And that leads to problems because that would mean when they find the statement, then they'd really know I planned my death. Not that they wouldn't suspect it already since I'm doing the deed in a hotel probably. A cheap one. Charged to my credit card again.
I really want to die.
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